Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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