Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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