: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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