they need to just BURY HIM!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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