Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
