There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Boobs speak an international language.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
