Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
