we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
