Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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