gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
