Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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