Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
