that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
