So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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