All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
God I need to hump something, right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
