He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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