I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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