Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
