It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
