After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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