So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
