The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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