Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
