Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
