"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize