Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
