News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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