I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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