Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
