we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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