i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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