did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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