i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
