Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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