I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
