you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
