hotel room ftw
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
