I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
