friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
