i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
