super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
