God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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