you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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