Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You can't special order awesome

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(479): View more from Arkansas

New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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(765): View more from Indiana

laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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(516): View more from New York

She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.

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(281): View more from Texas

Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger

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