I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
