3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
be right there i have to get my cape
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
