But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I puked a lego.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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