So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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