I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
vagina is talking i cant
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
