The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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